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I know you have all just put your decorative gourd attachments on your vibrators, sugared yourself with a candied ball of maple syrup and sweet potato, and spruced up your lady cornucopia with a pumpkin spice douche, but according to the Daily Mirror the Ice Queen cometh and she’s a cruel mistress.
It’s winter vagina time, bitches.
How can your vagina possibly defend itself against the storm — snow swirling through your pubic hair, frosting your labia, chilling your vestibule, silencing your clitoris?
Winter vagina is a thing. Take it from me. I’m from Manitoba. Winter vagina is so bad that no one can possibly have sex December though March. You’ve seen a tongue on flag pole in winter? Right. Like that, only worse. Try ripping that shit apart without anesthesia. Talk about roughing it in the bush.
Winter vagina is so harsh that Canadian Labor and Delivery units shut…
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